I just gave a talk at church on Father's day of this year (2014). I enjoyed remembering a few details about my childhood, and the wonderful father I have. I decided to blog it so it will live on for many years to come and everyone will know about my wonderful dad Jose Raul Zayas Soto. This one's for you daddy!
I was trying to think of one word that would describe my dad and the word “courage” came to mind. One of my favorite scriptures is in Joshua 1:9 and it reads: Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
Here are a few things I admire and remember about my dad, some of which testify of his courage, other things testify that he is a little strange (in a good way!) and that’s why I love him so much!
My dad is the 6th of 10 children. When he finished high school he joined the ARMY because there was no money for college, a pretty courageous choice for a young adult. When I was growing up in Puerto Rico he liked to tell us about the 27 times he jumped out of an airplane with a parachute while he was in training. During his time in the ARMY he had the chance to visit many places in and out of the United States. He developed a love for this great country and it showed. Among his top favorite songs are the “Star spangled banner” and “My country Tis of Thee” and he sings them all the time, just for fun, even if it’s not the 4th of July! :)
Growing up we were always taught that if we wanted to succeed in life we needed to get a college education, learn English, and if necessary move to the United States to seek employment. Puerto Rico is a great place, but it is overpopulated and sometimes finding work is difficult even with a college degree. My siblings and I were enrolled in private school with good English teachers. We often came to the US on vacations and my dad would force us to order our food in restaurants so we could practice our English. Even our names are in English. My sister's name is Beverly and my brother's name is Ralph, unusual names for kids coming from a Hispanic family. The reason? my dad remembered that it was difficult for Americans to pronounce his name in the ARMY, so he thought that giving us names in English would make it easier once we moved to the US. Never mind all the years I had to hear people call me “Ya-nis” or “Ha-knee-say”. :) :)
Talking to the priesthood brethren of the church in the talk Nurturing Marriage Elder Russell M Nelson said: "Brethren, your foremost priesthood duty is to nurture your marriage—to care for, respect, honor, and love your wife. Be a blessing to her and your children.”
My dad had the courage to relentlessly pursue my mother, a sweet young woman from a small town who was nearly a decade younger than him. My grandparents tried everything they could to keep my father away from their daughter, but eventually they saw his goodness and came around. A year after being married my oldest sister was born, Mitzi Zayas Carreras. She had a birth defect, Spina Bifida, and passed away from meningitis only a few days after birth. My mom told me that was the first time she ever saw my father cry.
The LDS Proclamation of the Family states: Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.
Even before our membership in the church my father always treated my mother with respect. Being a provider for his family was his top priority. When I was little and my dad was leaving for work he would say “I’m off to go get the rice and beans” (Me voy a buscar el arroz y las habichuelas!) I would say but daddy there’s some in the cupboard! He would laugh every time.
While in his mid to late twenties my father purchased a gas station for 100K. That was a lot of money and commitment for a young man in 1970. Again, courage. Everyone thought he was crazy. That purchase ended up being a wise investment that supported our family for many years. It was bitter sweet when he sold it in recent years.
From President Thomas S. Monson’s last conference talk "Be Strong and of a good Courage" Courage comes in many forms. Wrote the Christian author Charles Swindoll: “Courage is not limited to the battlefield … or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are inner tests, like remaining faithful when no one’s looking, … like standing alone when you’re misunderstood.”3 I would add that this inner courage also includes doing the right thing even though we may be afraid, defending our beliefs at the risk of being ridiculed, and maintaining those beliefs even when threatened with a loss of friends or of social status. He who stands steadfastly for that which is right must risk becoming at times disapproved and unpopular.
Perhaps the most courageous act I’ve seen my father do, even more courageous than jumping off an airplane, is embracing the gospel of Jesus Christ. My dad has always been a good man but he was never a religious man. Becoming a Mormon in his late 40s in an area where the Latter day Saint community is so small, required a lot of courageous changes. Some, like giving up his morning coffee and his occasional drink were easier changes to adjust to. Others, such as paying tithing and keeping the Sabbath day holy took a little more effort. My parents were close to the age I am today when they joined the church which helps me appreciate how difficult it must have been to go against what the majority of friends and family were doing at the time. My parents' social life suffered somewhat as old friendships faded, because they had less in common. My dad claims he lost friends because he no longer had a stocked bar at our house.:) More drastic changes came later when my father felt he needed to sell his convenience store which hosted a small bar, and the 2 gambling establishments he owned. He did this trusting that everything would work out financially, and it did. My dad has a very strong testimony of the blessings that come from paying tithing. His favorite church hymn is “I’ll go where you want me to go” and I feel that his example shows that is what he would do.
In a talk titled Fatherhood, an eternal calling by Elder L Tom Perry, he said “A family needs a father to anchor it”…To this day I feel that my dad is very much an anchor. As he has grown older he doesn’t travel as much and we certainly feel that something is missing when he isn’t there. Mainly we don’t laugh as much!
Elder Perry's quote continues…”The role of fathers, is to “preside over their families in love and righteousness” as equal partners with mothers”
As I read this quote I thought of the great example my husband Duane is as a husband and equal partner. I often joke that as wonderful as my father is I could never see him feeding a baby in the middle of the night or changing a diaper, which is why I had to look outside my culture to find the perfect husband for me:) Duane and I had our 25th wedding anniversary this year, and as I think of our first years together, I smile, because Duane, in many ways, had to act as my dad. Even though my father owned a gas station, it was my husband who taught me how to put gas in my car, since there were limited full service gas stations in the area. He also taught me how to drive a standard shift. Not to mention all the times he had to "speak" or translate for me because of my limited knowledge of the English language. I am blessed to have a husband who is willing to be an equal partner and who understands that providing for a family is important, but that spending time with his children and being involved in their lives is what brings the most joy. I see that joy every time he coaches a soccer game or watches our children perform.
I can't leave out other great fathers in my life. My father-in-law Morgan has been like a second father to me. I love him like my own dad. He was another one who did a lot of fatherly things for me. I have never met anyone who can do so much with so little. He changed many of my flat tires, and fixed many things around our house. Another example I can't leave out is my sweet son in law Kyle who is the father of two little angels, he has also been a great example of a father who shows great faith through adversity.
Last but not least, I’m grateful for my Father in Heaven who knows me, the good and the bad, and still loves me. I’m grateful that I can come to Him in prayer.
I would like to close with a quote from president Ezra Taft Benson from his talk titled "To the Fathers in Israel"
Oh, husbands and fathers in Israel, you can do so much for the salvation and exaltation of your families! Your responsibilities are so important. Remember your sacred calling as a father in Israel—your most important calling in time and eternity—a calling from which you will never be released. May you always provide for the material needs of your family and, with your eternal companion at your side, may you fulfill your sacred responsibility to provide the spiritual leadership in your home.
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen
Te amo papi! Happy Father's Day!!!!!!!!
